How Family Was Defined for Us

#

All images in this post unless otherwise noted are from my brother Seth Youngblood

This intro was going to start with the concept know as the lottery of birth, but I think it needs to acknowledge a broader perspective of the origins of our concepts of family.

One often must understand a thing to have ability to fully appreciate or change or mold it into their own values.

For some people family is defined in blood and genes - the people who share parents, grandparents, siblings and cousins.

For some family are the people that get filed on their taxes.

For some family are strictly a man and a woman who are married monogamously their 2.5 children, a house in the suburbs with a nice yard, perhaps a cat or a dog waiting eagerly for their people to return.

For some family are people that look like they do.

For some family are people that think like they do.

For some family are a wonderful partner.

For some family are a partner and a house with many kids.

For some family are people who believe and worship as they do.

For some family are anyone who comes through an open door in the neighborhood.

For some family are choosen by those who will bring joy and delight when times are good and stand by our sides when times are bad.

There exist many different ways people have typically defined family and the lottery of birth gives us each our starting point.

We don’t get to choose to be in this world in the first place, nor who are parents are. Instead we simply are. It doesn’t matter what you believe or do not about how humans got here in the first place it’s enough to observe that you exist and we can start there.

But no one asked you if you wanted to be born to parents who were rich, or were poor. Parents who loved you and paid you attention or did not. Parents who gave in to their flaws and took it out on you or did not. This is the lottery of birth. Some people are blessed with being born into a family that’s great, while many other are not.

Choice and Freedom: The Beauty of Adult Life

#

There’s that old saying about how freedom is never free, and true enough but it’s also worth stating that it’s often totally worth the cost. As we come into our maturity we are given choices and freedoms. Often times these are not explicitly stated so it bares repeating that we need to seek out these moments to willfully choose what’s right for ourselves.

And I can’t define what’s right for you, so I can simply share what I’ve decided and learned on my journey and hope it helps with yours.

Friends are Chosen Family

#

I’ve been blessed with some great friends over the years, ones I’ve known since being a young boy that have stayed in touch even to this day. It’s very much a blessing and also the result of my parents’ choice to not move too much while myself and my brother grew up. My dad had to move a lot as the son of a Methodist church preacher often being re-assigned to a new church appointment. So he made the conscious decision to keep us in the same home, and it’s paid off especially for me having went to college in the area and stayed for my adult life following graduation.

On top of that I’ve made the decision myself to invest time and energy in my friends. There’s been some very challenging and difficult things we’ve been through together and there’s also been many joyful, hilarious, and wonderful times too. I won’t go into the so called loneliness epidemic but I can say that I’ve been content and well supported by friends because we chose to invest in each other on a regular basis.

Is it really hard to see? Why I’m perfectly lonely Cause I don’t belong to anyone and nobody belongs to me…

Perfectly Lonely By John Mayer

Some of that was easier because I also chose to be single and content for quiet a while. When you don’t have a partner it frees up lots of time for other things in life and a big one I chose was my friendships.

So this was friendships